How to Find Your True Singing Voice (It’s Not What You Think)
Have you ever listened to a recording of your voice and thought, “Wait… that’s me?”
You’re not alone. We all have different versions of our voice. Our phone voice, our teacher voice, our whispery secret voice, talking to a baby voice. The voice we use shifts constantly, depending on emotion, setting, and intent.
And that’s exactly why the idea of finding your unique singing voice can feel so confusing.
We’re often told to be confident and “just be ourselves”. But which version of ourselves are we supposed to sing like?
The truth is: you already have a unique voice. It's made up of all the ways you use it every day. The key is learning to access and balance those layers consciously, especially when you sing.
Your Voice Is Not One-Dimensional
Think of how different your voice sounds when:
You're calming a baby
You're flirting
You're yelling “NO!” at your dog who's about to eat something gross
You're crying from frustration
You're laughing so hard you can't breathe
Every single one of these is your voice used differently, shaped by emotion and intention.
When you sing, you can bring all those colours into the music. But that doesn’t mean you have to sing every song with all the drama. It means developing a flexible voice that can adapt, whether you're singing smooth R&B, edgy rock, or a tender folk ballad.
To do this requires a comprehensive skill set that you can develop over time. You need good vocal technique that allows you to use your voice exactly as you like, as well as musicality and insight into different genres.
Tip: Read the blog post What to Do if You Hate Your Voice if you hate hearing your voice recorded.
So, How Do You Find Your Ideal Singing Voice?
Even if you ideally use your voice in different ways for different songs, you still need to have a solid, natural singing voice that is balanced and easy to control, one that you can always return to and use as a home base. From there, you can explore and stretch into other styles or colours without losing control.
Some signs you might not be singing from your own ideal voice:
You sound like a copy of your favourite artist, rather than yourself.
Your singing voice is so stylised that no one would recognise it as you.
You struggle to maintain pitch, tone, or comfort across songs or styles.
You’ve mastered exercises, but performing songs still feels awkward or disconnected.
This applies to singers who already have a balanced voice. Most beginners (and many advanced singers too!) have muscle imbalances that limit their voice use. This is something that we address with all our members and help them with.
How to Find Your Vocal “Home Base”
Your home base is your neutral, natural singing voice. It’s where your vocal cords come together cleanly, your airflow is steady, and your tone feels effortless, not pushed or overly styled.
To find it, try this:
Practice singing in your lower register using your speaking voice. Think of it as talking on pitch.
Say a whispery “mhm”, as if you’re sighing quietly. Now do the opposite and say a hard “mhm” as if you’re lifting something heavy. Finally say an “mhm” that is exactly in the middle of that, pleasant and clean. The last sound is what your tone should feel like most of the time when singing. That sound allows your vocal folds to come together nicely without leaking air, and it uses the right amount of muscle for singing.
What If You’re Skilled but Still Feel Lost?
Many of our members are excellent at vocal exercises, but struggle when it comes to choosing how to sound in a song.
Here are some ways to move forward:
Limit your options. Choose one vocal “intent” and one tone for a phrase or verse. Sing it fully, then try a different one. Compare how they feel and sound. There are no right and wrongs, the singing police won’t come knocking, so experiment freely!
Use your speaking voice as a reference. Say the lyric first, then sing it. Notice if you’re making strange shapes or forcing a different voice.
Check for tension. Your jaw, tongue, and neck shouldn’t be tight when singing in your ideal voice. If they are, you may be reaching for a sound instead of accessing your real one. Try moving around, roll your shoulders while singing or walk around the room to relieve tension.
Start with a vocal fry. A vocal fry is that creaky sound that your voice makes in the morning when you’re totally relaxed. It’s a great way to relax the voice to access a clean, natural tone. Start any exercise or phrase of a song with a vocal fry for one second or more and then effortlessly continue singing as if nothing happened. Of course, this is for practice purposes, you then need to be able to remove the fry.
Ask for feedback. All members of the Singable Toolbox can use the recording feature and get vocal coach feedback to see if your current sound is working for you, or hiding your real voice.
“I love your feedback. It is exactly the direction I have been needing.”
